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2019... and it already sucks

January 3, 2019

I wish I could say that I was in a good mood of any  kind. The truth is that I lost my sweet Zoe Bug the day after Christmas, and I'm absolutely heartbroken over it. She was almost 15, which, in human years, is almost 80. She was so incredibly special to me. I'd had her since she was abandoned as a kitten in a grocery store. Of course I love my other cat, Tabitha, but Zoe was truly something else. She was always by my side, nuzzling or cuddling, and very intuitive. When my husband deployed last time, she really helped me through it because every time I sobbed and felt lonely, she was right there with me. She has been through boyfriends, a bad marriage, divorce, falling in love again and getting married, moves--just all of the major changes I've experienced as an adult. 
She died naturally. We had just gotten home from visiting my in-laws over Christmas and, within 45 minutes, she was gone. We'd taken our fur babies with us and I knew something was wrong with her when she went so easily in to her kennel for the drive home. I had told my husband that I wanted to take her back to the vet the next week when they reopened to get her stronger meds for her arthritis and to see if anything else was wrong with her. But I never got a chance to. 
I admit I absolutely lost my mind when she died. Even as I write this, I tear up because I can remember clearly how absolutely helpless I was to stop what was happening. All I could do was hold her and tell her how much I love her. 
I'm still waiting on her cremains to come back from the vet. I've been going through her photos and video and remembering all of the good times. Other than her death, there were no bad times with Zoe. She was one of a kind of and will forever be loved and missed. I know I'll see her again one day. 

I sure do wish I could cheer up. 

Until next time. 

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